force a smile?

Friday, June 30, 2006

ppl live for a purpose... wats the purpose? i dunno... wat is my purpose on living on in this world?? to be buliied?? to be miserable?? to be ignored?? i really dunno... wat is there 4 me to live on for? i shld juz leave quietly... i noe many ppl will be happy... but i dun dare to leave those hu really care 4 me... who? i oso dunno... maybe there is none...

i really have lost focus in everything... even my fav sport in sch... tkd... i have completely lost my focus in it... today i have already shown it thru my weird actions... i started staring into space 4 nth... kicking the sand bag non stop very hardly... making stupid mistakes in my pattern... wat has gotten into me? i dunno.. i really dunno... i juz feel very fustrated and stressed up.. i wanna give up hope on everything....

i am left alone... left alone in the darkness... nobody bothers about me... nobody noes annything about me... wat they think about me is not really wat i am... they dun understand me... in fact nobody does... in the darkness, i am scared.. really scared... nobody there to help me... nobody there to guide me out of the darkness... day by day i stay in the dark... wondering when will someone come annd save me... if not when wil all my sorrows end... when will be the day i left everyone... quietly... unknown... dead....

12:36 PM ; smile?

Monday, June 26, 2006

Ahhhhh!!! tml sch reopen lerrx!!! DIE LE... my hmwk haven finish yet... haix... i dun wanna go sch!!!! tml sure got spot check one... haix... have to be 'guai kia'..... haix.. I DUN WANNA GO SCH!!!!

hwmk NOT yet done:

lit essayS
chinese compoS
history newspaper articleS
science worksheet

haix.... lucky the due date is on fri... haix.... muz faster do le.......

9:03 AM ; smile?

Friday, June 16, 2006

haix... three weeks of sch hols wanna past lerrx... all the three projects haven do yet plus all the hmwk xcept maths(anyhow do wan) haha.... haix.... tkd dat time i run wanna jump den my toe kena caught by my pants...oww...now sprain....pain siah... hahax.... sianx lor...i go sch at nine thirty wanna go library use com cos tot at home cant use ... who noes... library never open... so dao mei lorx... haix.....

lit hmwk wanna kill ppl arhx?? three essay qns leh!!! Siao!!!!

list of hmwk not done:
I&E project
Science project
History Project
History newspaper articleS
Science wksht
Lit essayS
chinese compoS
English Vocab Book
___haix-- so many hmwk____
*note all the S at the end of some assignments...

4:51 AM ; smile?

Sunday, June 11, 2006

haix... two weeks of the hols wanna pass lerrx.... haix... still got so many hmwk to do(apparently all cos i lazy to do).... haix... how... i no mood to do hmwk... so sianx... i nth do dat time always try to find somethink to eat... i siao lerrx... LOL... i have to exercise lerrx.... haix.. lucky got tkd training to help.... hehex....

haix... very sianx... whole day watch full metal alchemist with bro until midnite... hahax... going to have panda eyes lerrx.... hehehehe.....

tml is the pattern tournament.... hahax.. good luck to dose participating in it!!!! :P esp dose in PHS tkd club!!!! jia you!!! hahax....

1:39 PM ; smile?

Saturday, June 10, 2006

haha.. talking about tkd in this entry...LOL... Wednesday training was VERY funny!! too bad wen min never go... =( hahax

wednesday i actually dun feel like going but den when tink dat stay at home have to do hmwk... i rather go 4 training... hahax... it was sparring session lorz... hehe... at first we try out the speed thingy first... have to kick turning kick non stop 4 one minute... wah lau.. i kick until wanna die lerx....hehe... i oly do 59 kicks... the others all more den me...=( so sad... but i lowest rank among them all lor.... not fair....

den later i see them spar.. hahax... jonathan butt was kicked alot of times by jia hao... hahax... and den the three boys sparring: charles, jia hao, jonathan all ge kicked in the groin.... uh oh.... LOL.... hehe...

den later kenneth and charmaine leave for class.. kenneth keep on asking sher jie to let me spar with charles... SIAO!!! Charles spar very scary one... he red belt i yellow tip only leh... in the end i no choice really have to spar... lucky i dat i can hit him he cannot hit me cos i girl... =) haha... i accidentally kick him too hard pah one sound quite loud... :P... oops... hahax... den i oso accidentally kick his knee with my sprained leg and ow.... damn hell pain... i sat down clutching my ankle.. *sobs* hehe.... lucky awhile later not pain le so continue spar until end den see the others spar.. hahax!!!=P
--END--

7:50 AM ; smile?

Saturday, June 03, 2006

YAY!!! Finally the performance over lerx!!!! YAY!!!
sigh... wake up so early in the morning eat... bathe... pack my stuff.... haix... so sianx... den next... hahax.. got my mom to send me to sch... LOL... i stay so near sch onli... lame... hahax.... den.. we tune instrument... den we talk n talk... den we move insrument down... den we wait 4 lorry which turned out to come late so we go toa payoh and eat first... but i only drink ice lemon tea when we got dere cos wanna no more time lerx.... after dat... we went back and change to half costume... den wait 4 the lorry den move the instrument to the back stage... den got rehearsal.. when over, we gotta put make-up but because of finale we late so we put make up halfway den go perform le... lame....

den perform the CO pieces lerx... den we oack our instruments and some go shopping or eat until 5pm... while the 6 finale members go and put make up and prepare 4 finale.... LOL... finale we rush up to the auditorium and den while walking down to the stage, i kind of tripped and sprained my ankle a bit more... pain siah... den later yee sin stepped on my skirt.... sobs...... LOL.... when the finale ended, we went to eat our dinner.... wah lau lor... the food got chilli one make me eat until wanna die... so spicy.. to others u might not think it is spicy larhx.. but to me... haix.... later nite performance oso kinda the same but den CO performed better in the nite... LOL..... kkz... dats almost the end lerrx... lasy to elaborate further... tata.....

2:53 PM ; smile?