spending a quiet christmas alone isnt such a bad idea after all. get to watch a movie i wanted to watch on the laptop. it rocks. oh yeah. muahaha. christmas. well, its christmas! so to all, be it if u are enjoying parties, dates, gatherings or just having a quiet little time, have fun. have lots of fun. tis a season to be jolly! =D
2:35 PM ; smile?
Friday, December 24, 2010
my heart pounded again. i dreamt again. not again and again...
8:16 PM ; smile?
Thursday, December 23, 2010
its 345am. i'm awake. why? i cant sleep. and also, i dont feel like sleeping. i dont want to close my eyes and see u in my dreams again. i dont want to. i really dont want to.
it started of with a feeling. the feeling changed into fear, sadness, pain, hopeless. i dont want it. i really dont want.
3:44 AM ; smile?
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
i dont get drunk drinking red wine but why in the world am i getting drunk on breezer? red wine has 3 times the alcoholic content!
9:51 PM ; smile?
why is it pain that i feel? not happiness, not sadness, but pain? argh it sucks.
1:49 PM ; smile?
Saturday, December 18, 2010
the wedding's over. just three simple words. i love you. those are the words of affirmation. no need any other sweet nothings. just these three words.
well, since the last day of A's since prom ended, many many things happened. everyone's getting on with their lives. moving forward with time. me? i keep contemplating. shifting back and forth. so in the end, will i move forward or remain back behind? i have no idea. i dont know what's happening to me. i cant sleep at night yet i wake up early in the morning. in fact, i jolt up wide awake suddenly as if i've gotten a bad bad nightmare. tell me, was all that that happened just a dream? if so , would you bring me back to the dreams again and never ever let me wake up?
take me far far away
11:58 PM ; smile?
Wednesday, December 15, 2010
hello. i can't sleep.. =/
what i want to say is that i really really like you. i don't know why. but i tried many many times to stop but many many times i failed. but i know, you wont like me.
1:31 AM ; smile?
Sunday, December 12, 2010
how dramatic can life be?
today, after breakfast, dad, mum, second bro and i were going to bugis to get new handphones. as it was still early, we decided to head to grandma's house for a sit first. little did we expect that when we got to the lift, the door just opened and out came third uncle and soon to be auntie, flurried,saying grandpa was missing and asked all of us to find him. luckily we found him in the end safe and sound. =) well, doesn't this incident always happen in dramas? how often does it happen in real life?
and its a happy day today! haha. why? well, my dad finally got his iphone 4, my second bro got his samsung galaxy s, and me? i got my nokia N8! woots. haha. dad got the iphone for free cos of his plan, bro got his for $658, i think, and mine was $348. an we had $500 voucher, so, we only had to pay $500plus for 4 phones. oh yea, mum got a free nokia phone. so in the end, everyone was happy. =) maybe not for my eldest brother. well, not because he didnt gt a new phone, but because we all didnt get iphone but other phones. okay, wth. right? he even scolded my mum for getting a free phone. whats his problem? my mum's happy, thats all that matters right? please.
well then, it means it time to shop for handphone accessories. need a nice new hand phone pouch to protect my beloved phone. hehe ^^
life is full of surprises, shocks, many many things that causes us people to have fear, joy, anger, sadness etc. but this is life. it has to go on.
5:43 PM ; smile?
Saturday, December 11, 2010
i miss those times where i had a big wide smile on my face. the joy, the happiness were priceless.
12:49 AM ; smile?
Friday, December 10, 2010
alright, its time to get busy studying! and i'mn serious about it. lol. what to study for? firstly, primary 4 work! yup, that's right. i have to tutor my cousin(s), so yup, study. will do that whenever i tutor my cousin. will assign homework then while i check their ans, they do more work. then i'll go through. and i still havent decided how much to charge. 3o for 2hrs of 25 for 2hrs, or...? i dont know.
then, there's also studying for my basic theory test which is on 24th jan. still long way to go, but no harm starting early right? studying really sucks. i will read a few pages of the book and will become bored and start dozing off. haha i really cant study, can i? lol. both school work and driving theory. study? since i have no choice, let's study.
and, i'm also contemplating. phs or nyjc? which school shld i apply for relief teaching? i dont know. hmm. i should apply earlier right. but the problem is. to which school? i have to secure a position first then start studying again so that i'll be able to teach properly. argh. its a tough decision for me. oh, and i have to start buying clothes for work too. oh man. so many things to consider and think and so much to study.
well, guess i'll just focus at the things i gotta do now, which is to sort out the notes i'm gonna pass to my junior and my cousin.should do them all at one shot right? yup. and then also consider between dinnering with sec sch friends tmr outside or go to my grandma's hse. decisions, decisions.
so this is what it feels like tutoring? this is what it feels like contemplating between choices? well, its a new experience. especially now i have nothing to do except to contemplate. well then, let's get busy.
6:53 PM ; smile?
Thursday, December 09, 2010
prom's over. well, that marks the end of my jc life. sayonara.
and i guess, i'm giving up watching the entire series of pokemon. since if i continue, there will be no end to it. going on and on and on, with nothing but suffering.
3:42 PM ; smile?
Wednesday, December 08, 2010
i'm back from genting. well, it wasnt say very fun, but yea, it was fun. a nice trip to get stuff off my mind, though i'll get into a daze here and there.
rebecca is now back in singapore, where she has nothing to do, and all the thoughts will flood back and there it all goes again.
12:49 AM ; smile?
Friday, December 03, 2010
again and again, i'm just being a fool. i hate it. i really really hate it. i told myself many many many times, i tried many many many times, i forced myself many many many times. but i still failed. in the end, each time, i fell even deeper. fall too deep. i tried to pull myself up, but ended up falling deeper. i don't want to drown in this. i know if i continue this way i will just fall too too deep and drown in it. but i can't stop. i don't know why. it sucks. it really really sucks.
7:35 PM ; smile?
Wednesday, December 01, 2010
i'm being stupid. i dont know why i'm doing this, but i'm doing it. rebecca, you are stupid. but, perhaps this is the right thing to do. no point hoping for the impossible to happen. yes, thats right. give. it. up.
