Saturday, November 30, 2013
and those tears fell, leaving a puffy red mess in the pair of small round eyes.
9:14 PM ; smile?
Wednesday, November 27, 2013
My brothers finally booked their air tickets and hotel to HK. After a month of me checking online for the lowest air ticket prices and searching for good hotel deals. Well well well. I studied the airlines and hotels more than I did for my upcoming exams. And hell, im so darn tired of it. Thank god they finally settled it once and for all.
Exams! First one is up this coming saturday. This coming freaking saturday! And i'm only halfway through it. There was no mid term for it, hence the whole exam is gonna be full content, in full 3 hrs. God bless me. Its so physical chem and i definitely suck at it. Second up, biomolecular chemistry. Organic chem! God bless me again! Then env chem, chill. Cell biology! So dead. Couldnt understand the lecturer at all. And my brain switches off whenever she starts talking. Sociology. Pretty chill, but still gotta work on it. Oh wells, just gotta focus on studying and of course go on a shopping trip after every paper XD
But im still so tired i cant keep awake the whole of today..
7:27 PM ; smile?
Sunday, November 17, 2013
life is everchanging. it never stays the same.
we meet new people, we develop new relationships with them. we cherish the relationships.
yet, relationships are very fragile things. once broken, it never repairs itself fully. that little scratch over there still exists. it may not be visible to the eye, but it has a rather great impact.
often, we fear to break relationships. whether is it kinship, friendship, or love (is there a ~ship word for it?).
kinship: we love our family no matter what. yet, misunderstandings will threaten to crush it. and often under pressure, it gives way and stays crumbled.
friendship: we treasure our friendships as they are the ones we can turn to for comfort, for little talks that cant be told to our family. yet, bickers occur, misunderstandings occurs and you find that, hey, this friend.. isnt that friend there for you anymore.
love: everyone falls in love. it just happens. that fluttery feeling you get, that heart throbbing situations you get into. yet, does the other party love you back too? or wait, do you know the person you fell in love with well enough? no? sigh. in the end, these lovers become complete strangers. who were they? how did you ever fall for them in the first place? regrets? too late.
our lives just flow along with all these relationships. we fall, we crumble, we give up. ultimately, life just fucks you up. horribly. but in this world, you are not the only fucked up one. there are billions of people out there besides you.
so move on, smile.
11:31 PM ; smile?
Monday, November 11, 2013
about me..
who am i?
a human. a daughter. a sister. a relative. a friend. a stranger.
we have many different roles to play in our lives. often, we find ourselves stranded between decisions. should i go for a friends outing? or should i go for a family dinner? should i this, should i that.. whichever decision we make, we got to sacrifice something else. at the same time, we will disappoint someone.
being a human, we cherish our own life, we make decisions based on what we want. we do things that we want to. we want to have things our way.
however, being a daughter, a sister and a relative, our decisions cannot be based solely on ourselves. we tend to spare a thought for our loved ones. we dont want to disappoint them. we want to be perfect in their hearts. so we give up our innermost desire to be with them and live up to their expectations.
yet, we are a friend to many people out there. we want to spend our time with our friends. we want to have fun. we want to share our secrets with them, such secrets often cannot be told to our family. and so, we tend to stray away from our family to seek for comfort from our friends.
then again, as time pass, your friend may not seem as nice as before. somehow, they irritate you. somehow, no matter how much you tried to put up with it. after months and years of tolerance, you snap. you dont wish to talk to them anymore. you turn away and seek for new friends. you meet strangers. some of whom you only met once and never see them again. and some, you become friends with them. yet these friendships do not seem to be the same as the close friends you had. you turn back again and try to find the inner peace and to forget everything. and there, the cycle repeats.
life often goes in a round about. you find yourself trapped in the round about. you get happy, you get sad, you get angry, you calm down, then you get happy again... and it repeats.. you tried once and again to get out of the round about, yet you will eventually get sucked in again, forced to go through the whole cycle again.
and then, you think to yourself: why? why am i stuck in this mess? why cant i get out of it?
life, is not perfect. we cannot have everything our own way. we need to give in to many things. at the same time, we need to have others give in to us. but once you find yourself giving in to every situation, then my dear, your life is seriously FUCKED UP.
9:09 PM ; smile?
