force a smile?

Sunday, July 31, 2011

2nd time walking back from amk hub, crying.

4:27 PM ; smile?

Saturday, July 30, 2011

hi there. the month of july is ending already, school's starting next week. temporarily stopped working at mof to rest and prepare for school.

well, this month of july, many things happened. too many. i dont even know where to start. many things changed. many. through all these things, i've thought over lots and lots and lots. and no matter how i think, there is only one conclusion. there is no future. its impossible. there's no way. so what to do? to end it? or not to end it? question to me would be, why didnt i think more carefully abt it before starting it? so now that it has started, i want to end it? given a choice, i dont want to end. but the fact is i dont. i deserve to be hated, i deserve to have even my best friend getting mad at me. for i'm always doing these kind of things that makes people mad at me.

why must rebecca be borned into this world, why didnt she just get aborted?

9:59 PM ; smile?

Saturday, July 23, 2011

i want to do things, but i dont feel like doing anything. i am very sleepy, but i dont feel like sleeping. suddenly, everything's like so so so so so messy. i dont know what to do. i dont know what to say. i dont know. i really dont know.

perhaps, i made the wrong decision.

12:58 AM ; smile?

Tuesday, July 19, 2011

i've abandoned my blog for quite awhile.. haha..

well, the past 2 weeks was very very very busy. if its not work, means its still work. working almost 60 hrs a week for 3 weeks alr. i'm very very tired. getting sore throats, slight flus, chest pains, leg pain, and only one good thing. i lost weight (Y). but not much though. tchhh. lol. haha. still, theres much to lose till i'm contented. haha! but i just cant seem to get enough of the sweet stuffs tha make me... FAT. oh wells.

and there are alot of issues to dwell about. hostel, uni, and some other issues. hostel.. didnt manage to stay. work.. didnt manage to get my last day which is on wednesday(which is tmr). last day's on sunday instead. then work till i got very tired so i forgot to apply for my nus student card earlier. dunno how schedule got arranged till the point when i'm the first to start work, last to have break. pretty screwed la. and to other matters, well things seem to be going on fine, there are alot of problems. about the future, about my choice, about many many things. i cant make a decision now. for i'm only 18. i have not reached the extent where i can maturely make the right choice.

so then, me gotta go sleep. and there 2 days of full shift coming up for me. good luck.

11:55 PM ; smile?

Monday, July 04, 2011

that was really really unexpected. i didnt know what to say.

12:06 AM ; smile?

Saturday, July 02, 2011

what am i going to do? i dont know. i really dont know. can i escape the world? for a day?

11:53 PM ; smile?