force a smile?

Monday, July 31, 2006

yoz.. blogging.. dats wat i like to do! sigh.. haix...

half of a sunday have past.. in fact more den half i tink... haix.. wateva.. bored... i went downstairs bought chips for myself and big bro.. haix.. the jerseys are so cute! although i not a fan of soccer... they are really cute.. sadly i gotta give them to second bro.. aiyah... he so evil.. i buy wan lor.. sobs...

kueky sms me say he got chicken pox.. my reaction was like.. erm.. must he tell me.. tell me for wat. not my business.. hahax.. i so evil.. aiyah frens mahx.. so get well soon kueky!! hahax...

tml IT day!!

fed up fed up fed up... dats wat i am now.. i hate it.. i hate everything.. arghhh!!! ahhhhh.... i hate it..

8:20 AM ; smile?

Saturday, July 29, 2006

hiz... blogging again.. mummy using the com one but den she go cook so i use first lor... daddy online anyway can see his face thru webcam now... omg.. he look so fat.. hahax.. i so bad...

todays a friday.. yesterday had tkd.. i fell down.. hahax... at first is i trip over my pants and sprain my big toe again.. ouch.. den cos when i fell, i sort of slide abit.. so left leg in pain.. so i was carrying someones bag and a gi which was wet wet one.. the person sweat so much.. hahax... so i was limping.. with my bag, another persons bag and his gi... so i was limping.. walking walking.. limping limping.. den suddenly.. i cant move my left leg and my right leg was taking a step by its own.. i cant control my legs! so.. i fell.. oof.. on my knees.. ms ng and ms zhang happen tobe behind me.. ms ng asked me if i was ok.. so embarrassing.. hahax.. it was raining den.. we were moving mats den.. we were helping others to bring their school bags down den.. hahax... we refers to the tkd ppl larhx.. hahax..

mummy took over the com just now so now i continue... again.. now the com fully under my control... =)

hahax.. today i bai ka lor.. my toe so pain my leg got cramps. oo.. limping like siao. lucky by the end of school it was much better.. haha... today have no assembly.. so.. we suppose to do reflectin thingy but ms chya taught us science instead.. -.-''' haix.. i fell asleep at the last few minutes of the lesson.. ahh. make that lots more by many minutes.. hahax.. so tired.. got CO later mahx... zzz... yawnz..

school dat time i play play punch the wall. but then.. ahh.. too hard... now my right hand have difficulty clenching my fists... quite hard for me to sccop rice just now.. oww... its gonna have a blueblack!!! NOOOOO!!! i dun wan.. very pain one.. so much for me just playing about.. haix...

lazy larhx.. i wanna sleep all day!! =) i think tml shld be no tkd.. anyway if got i dun feel like going.. super tired plus gotta study for common tests.. haix... sleepy head rebecca...

i really dun think i can take it anymore.. i really cant stand it anymore.. i really cant... once again.. i am lost.. left alone all alone.. in the darkness.. i am scared.. scared that i may never ever come out alive.. i am very afraid.. i cant.. i cant take it anymore... i am losing control of myself.. i really cant control myelf...

10:46 AM ; smile?

Friday, July 28, 2006

haix.. finally i completed my history notes copying.. so tired... zzzz.. i spent so long on just copying notes.. who noes wat will become of my SEQ?? dunno lei.. might take forever to do it..

i woke up late today.. hahax.. so tired.. last nite while watching tv i fell asleep.. den today i woke up only at 8.30 am.. haha.. so tired... now is recess time for IT day.. until 10.30am.. yawn.. might start work earlier cos i got other hmwk to complete before going to sch 4 tkd.. yawn... wednesday was a da of sleep gorme!! =)

yellow belt pattern.. i noe the steps but not sure how to turn all this.. haix.. i am such failure.. lol... hahax... i turn siao le...

life is not as easy as it sems.. do u noe dat? i do.. cos dats how my life is now...

1:12 AM ; smile?

Thursday, July 27, 2006

omg omg... wat the hell is wrong with me.. i actually kinda miss CO i little.. whoa.. maybe i dun hate CO dat much after all... and yet i actually am almost gonna lose focus in tkd a little.. concentrate girl.. u must not fail in tkd.. jia you...

tired man.. today english period three periods... guess wat... i slept thru three whole periods.. OMG!! i didnt noe wat was happening for the past 1hour40mins while i was sleeping.. hahax.. teacher did not seem to notice.. LOL.. i so damn tired.. i wanna sleep soon.. yawn... plus.. i was dozing off during chapel oso.. yawn....

clara so bad.. pon tkd rehearsal.. wtf lor.. she join tkd just to get CCA points but den by poning will get her to nowhere.. my god.. i losing one of me frens le.. haix.. i dunno wat shld i do... i really dunno...

CO.. my god.. today got practice one but den after the tkd rehearsal thingy over hor.. i went to CO there they say teacher all go le.. so i can go home but the others gotta stay for the rehearsal of CO.. hahax... i damn bloody slack as CO secretary... haha.. went home dat time i onli did three things.. bathe... eat.... watch tv... and now using com.. hahax... i so damn slack larhx.. tml no sch again.. IT day.. so happie.. hahax... but den have to go back 4 tkd.. even happier... just dun wan qn and clara to bug me alot.. i trying very hard to make peace with qn so dat we can be frens again.. good frens.. but i dunno her thinking so i dunno whether i will succeed... haix...

under the state of depression.. i wanna give up everyting.. i wanna.. but i dunno is it rite for me to do all this...

12:02 PM ; smile?

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

third post today.. so sianx.. all my hmwk not done yet.. sleep.. dats wat i wanna do now.. just helped my mother burn joss sticks and joss papers.. wah.. so hot lor.. the fire.. woo.. HOT! ahh..

now searching the net for my history newspaper review or wateva dat is.. i dunno wat to find.. so boring.. help me.. i am dying.. i stil lgot english haven do.. haix.. boring.. tml got sch.. i dun wan lei.. three periods of english.. boring.. most probably will be sleeping.. zzz....

i miss tkd tournament day.. it was so fun.. haix.. tkd is two days away.. two more days i will be a yellow belt.. two more days.. tml got another rehearsal for ndp.. aiyo.. i dunno wat to do.. have to go CO to teach christopher den can go ykd... i will like to thank christopher lor.. he so cute.. help to replace me in the performance 0so i can go tkd... thank you... haix.. gotta do work le.. byebye..

u think dat consists of: eat, sleep, play, study, work and watch tv? no u are wrong.. life still consists of many things.. one is stress.. another.. have not tot of it yet..

11:44 AM ; smile?

haix.. second post today.. still in the process of IT day.. i very tired.. all my just lying aside.. i dun wanna do.. i dun feel like.. i ver tired.. i dunno wat to do.. my life is just messed up... sigh.. might post again later.. maybe perhaps.. dunno...

2:31 AM ; smile?

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

i am confused.. time and again.. i am always forced to go against my decision.. that is too much.. i cant take it anymore.. my only wish is to help tkd 4eva.. but... they wanted me to perform.. i dun care. i dun wan.. i asked them politely.. they dun let.. so.. wat can i do.. NOTHING.. i just cried out.. i dun wan this lfe.... somehow somewat.. i dunnno wat happen.. they allowed me. i dunno wat happen.. all the time i was downstairs and i sneakedaway from clara to have some peace.. wateva happened.. thank you to anyone who helped me... thank you all alot....

at home.. i oso cant take it snymore.. wat the hell.. u are my brother rite? my eldest brother... but.. why are u treating me as if i am ur enemy... i won a gold medal back.. not only did u not congratulate me... u insulted me... why... u said that i won because there were only8 participants and that the competition was so easy. why dun u try instead?? i doubt u can even kick up to 70 kicks.. u keep saying i am fat.. wat proof u have? my weight is acceptable... unlike urs which is SEVERELY OVERWEIGHT.. compare my weight and urs... wat can u say.. if i am fat? wat are u?? ultra ultra ultra ultra ultra ultra ultra ultra ultra ultra ultra ultra ultra ultra ultra ultra ultra ultra ultra ultra ultra ultra ultra ultra FAT??? u are not fit to be my brother.. insulting me liddat.. scolding me liddat.. beating me up when i dun think i am even in the wrong.. u ask us NOT to scold vulgarities... so by rite u are suppose to be second bro and my role model.. BUT.. u are the one always scolding vulgarities.. always creating trouble.. always arguing with mummy.. wat are we?? we are ur family.. and yet... u did this to us... wat is ur attitude? wat is ur perception to the word FAMILY?? wat is it...

i can take it no more.. i wan to scream and shout out loud.. i wanna cry out loud.. i want to.. but i will have to refrain myself... if not... when i start to scream.. shout... cry out loud.. u might not be able to see me anymore... and i dun care how u all feel..

11:24 PM ; smile?

Monday, July 24, 2006

woo!! tkd tournament!!! we started the preparations yesterday.. haha.. so fun but tiring la... hehe.. we move canteen chairs, they move canteen tables.. haha.. very heavy.. very tired.. den.. lay out of mats...had to lay the mats out.. haix... lay out le left the center few den they cannot fit in so... re-lay out again.. this time starting from th center.. we layed out two courts... tired.. next.. moping of the mats.. me and kah him accidentally spilled half a pail of water.. actually was mostly cos of me.. oops... hehe... clumsy.. had to mop up the water.. moping was tiring.. but we finished it in no time... =) tired....
dinner!! had pizza.. yummy! =P

we all went home at eight plus to nine liddat.. but beforee we left... we played!!! played wat? dun tell u.. :P...

today.. the big day!! omg.. so neervous.. actually i tot of waking up at 6.30am one but den... stomach ache.. so.. 6.14am i woke up... wake up too early le lor.. by the time i shit finish, briush teeth, tie my hair... only 6.37am.. wah lau.. so early.. no choice.. sit on bad take out my science long long ago overdue hmwk and do.. nth to do mahx... i do a bit only den went to prepare my breakfast.. =) hahax.. by den.. it was about 6.50am.. ate my breakfast slowly den.. off to school!! haha.. when i reach there, already go tso many ppl there.. well.. cut the crap le.. my competition!! there were 8 competitors, including me! den we started to kick at the blow of the whistle... so tiring.. i kicked 105 but den minus 4 cos i miss the target.. so sad.. wen min kicked 100... wah the competition is tough.. wen min and i if not wrong is the highest.. i highst in the prelimineries when compared with the boys.. ha.. i better den boys.. but den diring the finals.. the boys like upset with gals win liddat so they kicked alot better!! highest was i tink 109 bahx... hahax.. i kicked 102 but missed one so minus one.. 101.. cool!! i still got 1st.. den i was the official for sparring.. whoa.. they spar so fierce.. oof.. our members won quite alot of medals!! :P so happie.. hahax.. overall we won the challenge cup!! woohoo... the trophy was SO COOL!! there were medals for individual winners too.. i got 1st.. gold medal.. although it is just a piece of plastic, it is very meaningful to all winners cos of the hard work they put in to achieve it.. everyone worked hard to achive their medals... TKD TOURNAMENT!! woohoo!!!

at the end we packed up and went home about seven.. yay!! though some ppl went home with injuries due to sparring or over exhaustion, i belive dat they did not regret joinging the competition.. JIA YOU all the way!!! Woo!!

tKd rawks forever with or without her, my love for tkd will never end.. no matter how much i am pissed of by you, i will NEVER give up tkd as it is my life!!

1:04 PM ; smile?

Friday, July 21, 2006

Depressed.. dats wat i am now.. i cant find joy anymore... i once had tkd as my joy.. but now.. it has been ruined.. wat can i do.. i really regret in askin g my frens to accompany me to join.. i shld have joined alone..

i dun wanna tok.. i dun wanna smile... i just wanna sit quietly by myself.. only toking when deres a need to.. i cried.. i ran away and cried.. dats all i can do...

jia you 4 tkd turnament participants!!!

11:50 PM ; smile?

Wednesday, July 19, 2006

hi! i very happie today!! hahax... u noe why?? I PASSED MY 2.4KM WALK/RUN!! so happie.. i failed twice le today i surprisingly passed... yay!! but den i deproved lor... last year i got 12 min plus this year only 16 min plus.. must exercise more.. next year must get better.. put on weight over the june hols so must lose weight.. so far 1 month past le lost about 0.5 kg haha...

TkD!! i wanna have tkd everyday.. i prefer to sweat out den having CO in the freezing cold room.. =) i siao siao one =) qiao ni joining tkd.. gd luck to her in her stretching.. hahax.. thurs tkd.. two more days... faster come hor... tml got CO.. i tink will be the rehearsal 4 national day.. haix.. have to qiao my xiao luo again.. :P dun like.. yuckie!! yesteray kena scolding from porridge teacher.. hehe.. duno why lor.. he say my gao hu out of tune.. correct mahx.. i use the tuner accuratee.. but den wang lao shi also say out of tune.. aiyah.. dunno why larhx.. tml den see... hehex... i considering this: shld i quit tkd?? my life.. ut den i came to a conclusion.. my life eh... i quit not means i ending my life lor?? rebecca.. dun be stupid.. dun let anyhting get into ur way... hehex.. muz jia you!!

tkd tournament coming le.. hehex.. jia you to all!! i must faster study finish den train.. hahax.. tml if no homework.. i wanna ask mummy bring me go downstairs the gym to exercise!! :P

tkd rawks my life foreva.. i will never ever give it up!! =) tkd rawks!! those ppl in my tkd club oso rawks!! not like CO!! hahax.. sorry to CO members.. but this is truth.. i dun care!! =)

8:38 AM ; smile?

Monday, July 17, 2006

friday, saturady passed le.. i was resurrected after dying on thurs.. haha.. nth much. just yesterday very tired after sitting at the table, running here and there in sch for the tkd tournament registration.. yawn... had a lame dream yesterday.. not telling bout it.. i crayz le.. the dream was so stupid!!

very hard for me to use com.. lucky bro use so i use while he convert his stuff.. hehe.. gtg soon to study for maths test.. =P

sleep is essential for health.. sleep at least eight hours per day.. i seem to be lacking of sleep... everyday in sch wanna sleep... zzzz.... sleepyhead!! wake up n study!! ur results are deproving!! jia you for common test got two weeks to study 4 it.. 2 more months end of year exams coming le.. jia you!! so sad one day before the end of year is my b dae.. wonder if got tkd anot.. tkd rox!! cant live without it.. haha...

7:44 AM ; smile?

Saturday, July 15, 2006

1 week never blog le.. hard to have time to use com arhx... now mum oso chasing me to off com.. tml 7.45 have to reach sch.. very tired.. zzz... better sleep soon....

yesterday tkd training i almost died.... coach nver come so we train for tournament--- physical training... started with warm up exercise and den we did push-ups... after the push ups.. jog/run.. follow captain and run... den, assemble at the first floor.. 10 push-ups... next... run up and down four storeys.. stop at first floor do push-ups... we did dat thrice before we jump up the stairs (hop).. and den go back firct floor do push-ups did dat twice.. i half dead le... next... break 4 awhile and den train footwork... slide here slide dere... leg become blacker and blacker... btw on my last push up, my hands didnt even have the strength to hold my body up.. i almost fell to the groud in push up position... den train speed.. kick dao my leg very suan... right leg: 74 times, left leg: 55 times(plus kicking the target holder hand a few times.. his hand pain my leg oso pain..oww) i am failing... have to be strong cos my 2.4 is waiting for me to pass it.. hehe...

Sparring: at first i tot only tournament ppl sparring... i time keeper.. so sit dere so slak.. see them spar.. so nice!! unfortunately one boi got kick in the ahem... a few times.. oooff... later it continued for awhile when kah him started looking for a partner to spar with and sher jie asked me!! omg.. i yellow tip only lei.. she junior black lei!! anyway... i was very tired so i was weak.. couldnt move fast... until i got cornered to the wall..i was too tired.. i lean on the wall 99/100 dead... when resume match, i was kicked in the arms a few times.. pain lar... but arms gotta defend body so no choice.. i got kicked quite a few times in the body too... oof... pain... 99.99/100 dead... den later pah... hit my hand.. never clench my fist so hit my knuckles.. now if bend my middle finger will abit pain.. oww... 100% dead.. match handed.. in pain.. i went one side and res.. taking off my guard... owww... rest in peace man...

haix.. friday passed ordinally.. eh dunno how to spell..paiseh... kaez.. bye..

i will not give up.. i must be strong...

2:05 PM ; smile?

Thursday, July 13, 2006

its wednesday le.. four days never blog le... bro whole day watch shaman king i how to blog? haix.. lucky now he go play soccer if not i cant use... but soon mummy gonna chase me off le.. betta be quick!

well blog eh.. wat to say.. sch quite okay larhx.. except i fell asleep during CO for awhile... too tired le.. srry yu ting if u see this entry du scold me pls... hahax.. i very tired... too many hmwk... haix.. just as i tot today only got home econs to do, i just remembered dat tml got chinese test.. omg... haven study yet.. tot dun need to burn midnite oil.. but still must... uh oh... after mummy scold again...

tkd grading past le.. so scary.. very nervous... i doubt i will get double hahax... shld be only pass bahx... hahax.. must jia you le... tml got tkd!! =) my life with tkd rocks!! hahax.. with CO so-so larhx.. srry to yu ting again.. =P hahax.. i very bad...but den hor.. tkd chairman damn slack lor.. the notice board he never do anything lor.. one day kah him and i must make him stay back to do le... most probably tml bahx...(actually another reason we ask him to do the board is because we too short =P LOL!)

i tried my best.. tried to change.. all i ca do is change just a teeny little bit.. i will try harder.. i will not give up.. i want to wait for the day when everyone will forgive me.. i dun wanna be hated anymore... i dun want to... SMILE! dats the only thing i have to try to do now... not any smile but a really happy smile dats not fake...

tKd rawks my life!! train harder!! hahax.. gotta pass my 2.4 too haix... i keep failing.. how did i ever run so fast last year and passed with a B??? omg.. i tink i was too pissed at dat time... hahax.... i fell down got angry i 'chiong' all the way.. jia you!! must train more...

12:07 PM ; smile?

Monday, July 10, 2006

yesterday i totally freaked out.. before i went for my erhu lessons... i went downstairs my hse to buy a bottle of drink at sweets.. while walking past the swimming pool, there was this old man at the chair and suddenly he farted damn hell loud... i guess he didnt noe i was behind him... omg.. i quickly walked frightened like hell... hehe...

i cant believe wat i did.. i cant believe... i cried... cried in a bus.. wat was wrong with me... i tried hard to stop myself... but i just couldnt... luckily only i few drops came down and i hid my face so no one knew... luckily... i was blasting my mp3 in my ear and i didnt realise it was audible to other passengers around me.. oops...

Theres tkd grading today!! over le.. my god so scary.. my heart was like pounding when i did my pattern... omg... haix.. i m glad its over... i cant wait for the next tkd training....

i must stop... stop everything.. end everything... and begin my life again with nth but a less vulgar and less attitude problem me... i must.. but i cant... i want to .. but i cant.. i cant... i am sorry for those who i have offended... i am willing to change.. but i find it hard to.. its my attitude dat i ahve to change... i am sorry.... sorry...

11:47 AM ; smile?

Saturday, July 08, 2006

sch... sian la.. whole dayclimb up and down the stairs to get to the home room.. wah lau.. tired leh... sum more yesterday tkd make my leg and hand very the suan... haix.. tml still got training... 7.30 wanna go train 4 napfa.... hehe... my 2.4 wanna fail liao....

i closed my eyes again trying to picture myself finding a way out of the darkness.. i saw a light up ahead.. as if it wants me to follow it.. i walked ahead towards the light... suddenly.. just as i was about to reach the light... it disappeared.... it was just an illusion... i was a fool to tink dat i m not alone.. a fool.. a hopeless fool... this illusion will disappear... a fool for life.. dats me... a fool...

mummy scold me 4 nth.. i told her i have to use com 4 work, she scold me... bro ask her tp PLAY, she let.. unfair rite?? i find dat shes bias... not fair.. when i not in wrong she scolds me and beat me... juz wat did i do.. shes my mother rite? i not her punching bag rite? sometimes i just wish dat i can counter back ny hitting her too... but icant.. why? its jusr biasness.. being a girl and the youngest isnt as good as i tot anymore.. u all just dun understand me... u all dun.. u tink dat i am ok with ur attacks... i am not.. i am not.. i dun wanna be a victim anymore... but i just cant find the courage to prove dat i am not weak.. i cant... pls... try to understand my feelings.. i plead u all... pls... i dun wanna cry i my heart painfully anymore.. i dun want to...

life is like a roller coaster ride.. it goes up and down all the time... but mine.. i on a spoilt roller coaster ride which goes down 4EVA!!!

6:30 AM ; smile?

Thursday, July 06, 2006

boring.... i hate to do hmwk... got so many hmwk... i wanna complain... haix.. no choice.. i only can use com 4 awhile... sobs....

sch.. so bad lor... eng three whole periods... in one day.. so sian.. almost fell asleep hahax... my frens dun really understand me... i seem to be always left out in their conversations... haix.. wateva... i see them always laughing den i will be dere next to them staring blankly at them.. i can't wait 4 tml tkd training!!!!

close my eyes and relax... think of myself being alone in the darkness when suddenly i see a shining light in front of me.. i followed it and out i come from the darkness... like this den i will slowly open my eyes and realise dat i m not alone... this is how i keep myself from losing control of my mind.... hehe...

11:04 AM ; smile?

Sunday, July 02, 2006

today.. the day i dreaded is gonna end in 47 minutes time.... why do i dread this day?? i tell u why....

Today theres tkd... i dun dread it but i dread wat was to come after it... haix... er hu lessons shld be at 2pm but cos got sumtink on later have to postone... den the other 4 of them oe dat i have tkd on saturday morn but den they pian pian wanna have lesson at 11am... stupid ppl... tkd ends at 11 but it takes about 1 hour to get to bugis 4 the lesson so i got no choice... pissed off, i kicked the sand bag.. hard! so pissed.. den... got train for pattern... den later basic kick.. by den already 10am le... i shld have to go le.. i slowly go toilet change my pants to skirt den went back to wear socks and shoe...suddenly i noticed there was blood inside my toe nail... the tiny one on my right leg.. looking at it carefully, i realised dat my nail was peeling off.. there was no pain at first but den upon noeing the injury, it started to hurt alot... i even considered not going 4 the the lesson but still, i went... i left sch at 10.30 so reached there quite late 4 the lesson... do i care?? NO!! duh.... i hate it... i was blasting my mp3 into my ear from yck mrt station all the way to dere... this is wat i do when i not happy.... from yck to the lesson, thruout the lesson, den bak home, i have not spoken a word until i reached home.. dat was two and half hours straight!! is not i dun wanna tok is they dun tok to me first as if i in wrong liddat.. but den.. hu cares!! after the lesson i just walked to the bus stop without even saying byebye.. anyway y shld i??? i hate them!! they too juz ignored me.. idiots... like i care... still blasting music in my ear, i went home in bus 851 reading true singapore ghost story... not scary one lor...

upon reaching home, i quickly bathe, eat i went to sch.. have t go 4 stupid SYF opening ceremony... dumb larhx... lazy to elaborate... only the weather damn hot.. i damn tired.. so on the way back home i slept in the bus, still blasting music into my ears... haix... i had yet to eat my dinner den... when reach home, it was about 8.50 liddat... i washed up den ate my chicken burger which was given to us at 2 plus.. lame rite?? haix.. den watch tv until i bugged my mom to let me use com.. haix.. i very tired but dun wanna sleep.. lazy lar... haha.. actually i really not in the mood.. even if i lay down to sleep, i wun be able to fall asleep.. i will be on the bed trying to refrain myself from crying...

2:13 PM ; smile?

Saturday, July 01, 2006

same old day walk to sch... haix... i still not in good mood but once i reach sch i must put on a fake smile.. a fake expression... why? u ask me... i m not telling... maybe things will get better.. i tot to myself... pls try ur best to smile....

lessons.... science... nth much juz take questa card write name all this tok tok tok den period over... from first floor climb to forth floor to have history lesons.. 2 periods... sianx.. juz keep copying notes..... den some scholar cirle ppl went 4 outing... next recess... from forth floor to first floor to get to the canteen... dun hav enuf money... drank ice milk tea and dats all... saunter slowly back to class with my frens.... it was den english lesson... do compre... tok tok tok.... cheered up a bit more but here and there my mind will wander off to the sad stuffs... next math lesson.... from second to third floor... maths... my fav subject... teacher gave us some questions to do... first question... so easy!! but the second, third and forth questions so hard... but den later when we got to noe the formula.. it was so easy... haha... maths suppose to be two periods but li jia and i left early to practice for our performance during assembly... after... we moved all the percussions instruments down to get ready.. lazy to elaborate but den my mood was well affected badly...

afte sch!! went around looking 4 clara... in the end saw her so we ate together... i was really broke.. only left with 30cents so i just bought a cup of barley and drink lor... haix... den.. they go out... i go home... so early... not the usual me... i always go home at 5 plus to 6 plus wan....

at home... changed to home clothes and started washing xiaozhu's cage... i never bathe it 4 two days le... paiseh.. too busy... stress arh... i spent abt one hour den sat on the sofa read ghost story book... scary... tml most probably will read more... den i watched tv for alwhle before using the com... now dats wat i am dooing.. with my dinner right in front of me... haha.. i dun like the food today.. by the way.. i dun eat on a dining table with my whole family cos dad overseas working.. we only eat together only when dad comes home for one week once in a few months.. pathetic isnt it? haix... quite hungry but den no appetite to eat... stress...

later 7.30 got smallvile i wanna watch but i prefer watching the com instead.. hahax... lazy to go out of my room...

wat was that i felt?? wat was dat feeling when our eyes met for a split second.. i dunno.. did i really......

10:29 AM ; smile?