Wednesday, December 27, 2006
i just hate it all so darn much.. whyy must there always someone who will make all my happiness get ruined.. why cant i just be happy.. why cant everything just be ok.. i dun care wat happens.. i just want to be really really happy.. is it hard to be really happy? it is not hard for other ppl but for me.. no matter wat i do i just cant be really happy.. i hate ut all just so so much.. for me.. anger.. sadness.. tey are always there to ruin my life.. happiness.. it always stay far far from me.. maybe i shld give up.. maybe i shldnt be in this world at all.. maybe i shld just leave.. i really really cant take it anymore.. i just wanna give up everything.. i dun wanna cry anymore.. it hurts badly.. everything just wun be smooth for me.. everything always get ruined.. i hate it all so much.. i dun wish to endure all this pain anymore.. i really dun wish to.. u think i like to lose my temper? i dun.. u think i dun wish to give in? i dun.. i really wanna stop any quarrels.. is just that i keep getting taunted.. i hate dat.. i dun wish to be liddat anymore.. i dun wanna be.. plus at the time i really need someone to be there for me.. there's no one.. no one.. just me.. alone.. in pain.. struggling.. dats all.. and i hate it alot.. i realy really cant take this anymore.. suicide.. i have thought of it before.. but is just dat i dun dare.. but.. wat if i do suicide.. will anyone be sad? i dunno.. i really dunno wat to do.. i hate it all alot..
i wanna stop crying.. but i cant my tears just keep falling.. like now.. can i stop crying? even though i stop crying now.. i just cant be happy.. deep inside my heart.. its bleeding.. it is painful.. i just wanna be happy.. really really happy..
3:25 PM ; smile?
