Monday, November 11, 2013
about me..
who am i?
a human. a daughter. a sister. a relative. a friend. a stranger.
we have many different roles to play in our lives. often, we find ourselves stranded between decisions. should i go for a friends outing? or should i go for a family dinner? should i this, should i that.. whichever decision we make, we got to sacrifice something else. at the same time, we will disappoint someone.
being a human, we cherish our own life, we make decisions based on what we want. we do things that we want to. we want to have things our way.
however, being a daughter, a sister and a relative, our decisions cannot be based solely on ourselves. we tend to spare a thought for our loved ones. we dont want to disappoint them. we want to be perfect in their hearts. so we give up our innermost desire to be with them and live up to their expectations.
yet, we are a friend to many people out there. we want to spend our time with our friends. we want to have fun. we want to share our secrets with them, such secrets often cannot be told to our family. and so, we tend to stray away from our family to seek for comfort from our friends.
then again, as time pass, your friend may not seem as nice as before. somehow, they irritate you. somehow, no matter how much you tried to put up with it. after months and years of tolerance, you snap. you dont wish to talk to them anymore. you turn away and seek for new friends. you meet strangers. some of whom you only met once and never see them again. and some, you become friends with them. yet these friendships do not seem to be the same as the close friends you had. you turn back again and try to find the inner peace and to forget everything. and there, the cycle repeats.
life often goes in a round about. you find yourself trapped in the round about. you get happy, you get sad, you get angry, you calm down, then you get happy again... and it repeats.. you tried once and again to get out of the round about, yet you will eventually get sucked in again, forced to go through the whole cycle again.
and then, you think to yourself: why? why am i stuck in this mess? why cant i get out of it?
life, is not perfect. we cannot have everything our own way. we need to give in to many things. at the same time, we need to have others give in to us. but once you find yourself giving in to every situation, then my dear, your life is seriously FUCKED UP.
9:09 PM ; smile?
