Tuesday, December 31, 2013
nope my resolutions aren't ready yet but this is a sum up of my 2013.
yr 2 sem 2 ended in may, after which i continued with special semster. year 2 ended so quickly and hecticly, i didnt even realise that im a year 3 already. 1.5 yrs later it will be byebye nus, hello ntu. my CAP was on a plummage since year 1 sem 2, so i managed to pull in back up by just that little bit, but there's much room for improvement. i gotta buck up more in studies.
after the semesters ended, i had my teaching attachment program. well oh well, being in school as a teacher is really different from being a student. you get to see the politics, you get to hear stories, and you get to see how it feels to control a whole class. damn scary! haha but im sure i will get better in it for now im still a noob uni student. haha.
finally, everything ended, and i have my break. but it was no break.. catching up with friends, packing up my room, prepping for my 21st birthday... oh, im 21 already? how time flies. everything was busy busy busy. but happy. =)
and soon, i was on the plane heading towards hong kong! was pretty excited at the beginning, but slowly things changed. i've learnt that people change when put into different environment. its difficult to adapt to their new behaviour, and also to accept it, so much so, i became very depressed. but i started to realise that i cannot live my life letting people affect me so much, so i put things down, i pushed things aside, i changed my priorities, and so i think it may have affected the friendship. but either way, at least my friend is still happy, and im happier instead of being so depressed. to my friend, im sorry that i showed my unhappiness so many times, but its something i have actually tolerated for quite awhile before i exploded. so, i hope there's no hard feelings. with that, hope u really enjoyed hk after i left!
back in sg, i went out quite frequently. xmas gathering at my cousin's house, movie outing with my younger cousins, outing with my jc friends, and now, new year's eve. many things have happened in 2013. i dont know if i have grown up from them, or i am still the same. for now, i believe that i did grow, even if its just a teensy weenie bit. at the same time, i have also realised alot alot alot of things. things that i kept pushing away because i refused to believe it was the case. but then, today on new year's eve, i have confirmed that it has been like that all along. nothing i do can change anything. nothing i say can be heard. nothing i say will make things better. and lastly, there is actually nothing i can do but to not let myself be so affected by other people.
2014, i will live for myself too. i will live happily too.
9:21 PM ; smile?
